Shiny and new

My room is like a virgin. I just cleaned it and i love being in it once more. I also did three loads of washing at my parents house so I can stop wearing dirty clothes! Last week I didnt' have a shower for about 5 days, and didn't change my underwear either. Well no more of that!

Tiphanie is back!

Yes thats right, the cat came back the very next day. Right when I thought we had finally fobbed off all of Tiara's illegtimate children I come home and there in place of the last black one we'd just given away was Tiphanie Crystal Chardonay - the boy we gave away over a month ago!!!!!!!

Turns out my flatmate is actually just looking after him for a while as her parents (his new owners) are on a cruise. My other flatmate was apoplectic upon seeing this creature and thought it was an intruder, till we managed to calm her down and got her to stop ranting about running it and its mother over. Oh yeah - she's pregnant again. I'm taking her in for an abortion /womb removal next week. I think I'll get a haircut too. But not a real job.

I went out dressed as Andy Warhol the other night and a crazy but kind of hot russian guy thought i was a tranny at first (becasue i was weraing a wig) then he touched my chest and realising i didn't have boobs, looked at me and goes "Oh! You are a boy! I like boys ;)" then he lunged and pashed me. Crazy crazy man. Then he asked my titless tranny friend if she was a boy or a girl and got all confused. Apparently he'd never seen people like us in Russia. He was from the Urals.

LG - Life's Good

Yes indeed it is. Life is good. And it's all thanks to the past few days.

Last friday I was feeling a little sorry for myself so I decided that what I really needed was some good retail therapy. Off I trotted to Krd where I snagged a bright blue vintage Dior v-neck sweatshirt for $35. It may sound a little trivial, but finding this did actually make me feel good. Then I went out to a graduation party and a housewarming, both of which were a lot of fun.
So that was step one to happiness.

Step two came on Saturday, the sun was beaming through my venetian blinds and I thought to myself, what better a day could there be for learning to drive? So I gave panda a buzz and she strolled on down to the ghetto with a mate. She took my out to Pt Chev and Mt Albert, and after abotu 2 hours I was feeling moderatley confident on my first day of driving ever!

Then I had a great night out on saturday and dragged it up just for fun - no performance required, for the first time in ages. . I looked stunning in both the outfits I wore and they were very much appreciated by my public.

Step three rolled around sunday night. Ex bf and i have been texting each other fairly frequently and he popped over again that night - with plans for more regular meetings.

Now the icing on the cake came on Monday. Several of my friends have been prompting me to get a haircut for quite some time. My hair had pizzaz but lacked style, so I felt I needed a change. I hadn't really had a haircut in over a year and it was quite long, down a little past my chin. I was incredibly nervous about getting the chop but I had a fabulous hairdresser who put me completely at ease and I came out with a fantastic new haircut, still with some length and a whole lot a style!

So to recap - I have a bright blue vintage dior sweatshirt, great friends, a convenient no strings relationship with an ex, incredible drag talent, a hot new haircut and I can drive (yes I'm driving all by myself now!). So life is good - albeit for a lot of fairly superficial reasons, but hey - sometimes thats all you need!

May day

Its May!!!!! Flowers are blooming, children are singing, virgins are dancing and lambs are a leaping. Well, somewhere, not in New Zealand. Here its getting cold - which means ..... new wardrobe time! I''ve already been wearing jackets and jeans more often but I think its time for a few new shirts. And a hottie. And a hot water bottle :P

Doing yoga will help to keep me warm. As will the exercise regime that I haev been sticking to fairly well. I've been walking lots more recently, doing my situps and pushups (and doing more each time) stretches, yoga and weights. I do the weights in front of the mirror......

I actually feel even hotter already, and I've only been doing this for the past two weeks!

I had alovely weekend. An old family friend had his 21st on Saturday - he's my best friends little brother. So I got to catch up with bes friend and his girlfriend. Me and her sat their talking about uni, old people we don't know, and bitching abotu the birthday boy's frightful slapper of a girlfriend. She tried to tell me that she could give me makeup tips for when I do drag. I told her she needed them from me. Had a good old catch up with best friend too. He graduated last friday and has a big grownups job in HR. But he still lives at home. He als o showed me a few photos from the last party we were at together over summer. I decided I need a haircut after seeing those. There were also a lot of old faces from my childhood at the party. Its always nice when middle aged women tel lyou how handsome you've become :) I had been rather apprehensive about the party on Saturday night as both my (divorced) parents were to attend. It was to be the first time they were in the same room since a funeral abotu 4 years ago. So i got stoned at a friends in the afternoon and started drinking before dad picked me up. I needn't have worried though, my parents were civil to each other. It was nice to see m'ma. We have the same hair colour at the moment....so people made lots of jokes about family resemblance ha ha ha. Oh and one of my friend's cousins has developed into a very hot, tall skinny young man :) He kept giving me the glad eye but I felt weird about hooking into a boy at a predominantly catholic affair.....

After the 21st I headed to the warming of the San Fran ghetto shack. I got there just in time to not have to talk to any frights (well mostly) as I think most people had left. So we headed back to my ghetto with a carload of 7 to wake up my flatmates just for old time's sake) down a bottle of midori and head up to Whanau. After the animals went home, I proceeded to perform interpretive dance with a couple of friends for about an hour and a half. My neck still hurts. We were outrageous.

I performed at wigorama last week as well in a flesh tone sequin bodysuit with dark sequin muscle contours and performed to Scissor Sisters 'Filthy Gorgeous'. It was amazing :)

Oh and I just got back a whole lot of good marks for uni (I actually think my tutor loves me).


Wizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Young men grow older every day.

There comes a point in a young mans life where he realises he's not going to be a young man for much longer. He may try to ignore this fact, hide from it, attempt to delay the inevitable, but he cannot escape it. Peter Pan is just a story, but there is a strong Peter Pan narrative amongst the male gay community. Who wants to be old and gay? According to Peter Wells, 24 is the age where 'cute' is out and 'MAN' is in. This scares me. I've always relied on being cute to get me......everything! What Am I going to do when my vile of cuteness runs out and I'm left to rely on.....being.......a man?

The youngest of my mother's children alerted me to the fact that he would be turning 18 in December, and I would be turning 23. This boy has always been my 'baby' brother. I remember looking at 23yr olds when I was 18. They were so wise and mature, they had worldly experience, confidence and control. At least, that was my perception of them.

If those 23yr olds were anything like me they certainly weren't the figures of confident masculine maturity I envisaged them to be, and they probably didn't feel much older than 18. How could I have changed so much in only four years? I really am not the same person I was but I still don't feel much older, certainly not emotionally. My face has developed, my hairline changed and my body grown ever so slightly more muscular but I still feel like a little boy. I feel like my ship has come to a halt in a still and foggy sea. I don't know where to go from here. It may just be that I have a cold and can't breathe very well but I feel as though I'm suffocating. I need something to happen. Someone to happen. Somone exciting, and older, to help guide me. A man. I don't want to keep ending up with boys four years younger than me who think I'm their own age, or even boys my own age who may or may not feel four years younger than they are.

A good friend of mine is leaving to teach English in Japan in a couple of months. At first, I found this exciting, as did he. Now it just seems scary. He's depressed, he's nervous and he's walking into a position of responsibility in a country where he doesn't even speak the language. And as far as our friendship goes, I think he'll be dead to me. Another friend left to the UK at about the same time last year. I haven't heard from him in months.

Discussing this major life change with my friend got me contemplating my own situation. I don't want to end up in Middle Management. I will get into post grad. I will become a health professional. I need to travel, to see things, experience other people. I need to apply myself and strive towards goals and achievements. I will see the world, own a house and do it with or without a partner. Its going to happen.

Ha, when I started writing this I was feeling awfully despondent about my situation. Now I'm feeling a lot better.

The word "spurt" is a scientific term referring to the rapid increase in ___________that occurs at about______?

The correct answer is word learning and 18 months. Yes, you spurt at 18 months.
Its that time again - study time! I had a test for research methods in psych this afternoon. I hate stats, the whole thing was evil. Tomorrow's test is something I actually like - Cognitive Development in Childhood, so I'm not too upset about being here at the computer labs while my friends prepare for yet another Big Wednesday. I want an A+.

Last weekend was fun - My flatmate from Norway had her flatwarming. I convinced all her foreign friends that we say "Norwegia" in NZ, and my friends and I were the general entertainment source for most of the frightfully dull partygoers there. Some boy broke his arm. I was annoyed becasue he broke a glass. Ended up staying out till about 6am at Supper CLub (ew) after leaving the party at midnight and having a fantastic night out with the boys. Saturday was pretty much the same, except i hooked up with some boy. But it was empty. I'm pleased to say I was looking incredibly hot.

I also feel my standards have reached a new high - i just didn't find anyone attractive except myself. Which isn't too much of a problem but it is a bit annoying. I'm now adjusting to life with higher standards than ever before - oh and I'm re-identyfying as gay. Heterosexuality wasn't much fun after all! There is a severe shortage of acceptably attractive males in Auckland - but the new problem is that they don't just have to be hot, they have to be intelligent as well. I'm over dumb boys. And non-arts students. I need.....more. I even considered moving to Wellington next year but the problem would probably be a lot worse in a smaller town. So I'm gonna have to just sit tight in the comfort of my own glory and forget all about other boys. I've even lost interest in my united nations pledge (which was to sleep with someone from every country)! Whats happening to me? I used to revel in promiscuity!

I know we're cool, ca-coooooool

Oh what a beautiful morning! I had such a good weekend!

Firday night i went to see this short play competition which my friend had entered. You write a 5min play, it gets acted out and the audience vote on which one (of 6) should be lengtened to 10mins and entered into the final. My friend got through to the final so we went out to celebrtate by corrupting the space in aotea square.

Following the exhilirating corruption of space I went home, ate some more of the spaghetti bolognaise that I had cooked (based on mama di riscio's original recipe, with a few additions/alterations) and my friend Hound came over. We were to go out to Whanau and dance - he hadn't been out in aaages. SO at 2am as we headed up the street I get a call from a verymashed sounding ex boyfriend - the same ex boyfriend from a few weeks ago who had turned up, then admitted to having a boyfriend and left. Well he doesn't have a boyfriend anymore! So I agreed to meet him back at my place but first took Hound up to the club, said hello to ma sista's and headed home to greet the ex. He'd been at a dance party and had taken a pill, was quite fucked and quite horny. So after a few pleasantries and a general catch up we headed to the bedroom. It was fun - I had forgotten how awkward he was though but it was still fun. Then he left, and I went back to the club!

Back at the club (reunited with Hound) I bumped into the friend of the emo boy I had hooked up with a few weeks ago. Turns out she knew the boy I had gazed upon with eyes of longing just a few weeks ago:

"3/07/2006 i met the cutest boy ever, tall ( i really like tall boys), with dark long hair, eyebrow and labret piercings and the sweetest smile ever"

So she introduced me to him and we got busy on the dancefloor. He's so hot. And he also had a tongue piercing. Which came off in my mouth when we were kissing! We exchanged numbers and planned to see each other at the club on Staurday night.

Saturday night was drinks with Keb and Panda so I headed over to Greymouth with Hamster, Pam and Father Litterick. After sucking back a bottle of vino and discussing the similarities between birdsong in cowbirds and babbling in infants, and what their implications are for harmonious coexistence with rwandan high priests in percussion groups I felt the need to head to whanau and pash the hot boy. So we jumped in a taxi and boosted it. I met up with the boy (who was dressed like a bag o' rags - unshaven wearing a big baggy white shrek 2 t-shirt, a cap and sunglasses) and pashed some more (this time he didn't bother wearing the whole tongue stud). This time we talked a bit more....and I found out he's only 17....and he found out how old I am......we both thought each other was about 19. Giggle giggle. He turns 18 soon though. I also found out that HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!!>!>!>!!>?!>!?>!?&@$#%@#!?>!?!>?!!?

Honestly I think its some kind of curse. Well, its at least statistically significant. He drove me home at 5 in his beat up old car. I'm not gonna text him but I'll probably see him next weeekend. Hottt.